You'll need a large, heavy pot, a colander, food processor, and a large bowl.

• Heat oil in a large, heavy soup pot.
• Add onions, garlic, and carrots and cook over moderate heat until onions are limp.
• Add lentils, secret sauce, broth, and water, and bring to a boil.
• Lower heat, cover, and simmer for 30 minutes, or until lentils are very soft.
• Stir in more warm water if soup becomes too thick.
• Pour soup through colander, catching liquid that drains off in a large bowl.
• Return liquid to soup pot.
• Puree 1/3 of lentil mixture, return to pot.
• Stir in remaining whole-lentil mixture.

Salt and pepper to taste, serve!